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Felecytie Rosen-Hanson

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3 Reasons Why Men Should Try Therapy

Men have taken on a specific role in human development over the span of hundreds of thousands of years. While roles have very recently shifted somewhat, historically speaking, men have been the ones to fight the wars and build society. And if you think about it, it’s pretty hard to feel emotions, let alone process them, while on bloody battlefields and balancing atop giant skyscrapers.

You could say at this point in time, men have become hardwired to compartmentalize their feelings. They have them, just as much as women have feelings, they simply select to store them away and get to them later. For this reason, most men buck at the idea of going to therapy to communicate their feelings.

The reality is, it is for the very reasons I just stated that men can greatly benefit from therapy. Here are 3 reasons why men should at least give therapy a try:

Recover Your Sense of Identity

For many generations, there was a strong definition of, and acceptance of, masculinity. Today, we are given a mix of messages from the media about what it means to be a man and how destructive “toxic” masculinity is. Add to this the fact many men grew up in homes where the father was either fully absent or emotionally absent, and many men struggle with their own sense of identity. Therapy offers men a space to create a healthy definition of what it means to be a man.

Improve Your Relationships

Because men have a hard time communicating their feelings, their female partners can often feel abandoned and confused. This can cause real problems in the relationship.

Therapy allows men to become a healthier version of themselves, one that can connect better with their partner.

Deal with Grief and Pain

Grief, loss, trauma… these are sadly a part of life. Most people, especially men, have a very hard time navigating these mental health challenges. Therapy helps men explore their own emotional pain so they can heal and move on.

These are just a few reasons why men should seriously consider trying therapy. If you’d like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me.

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Could Your Family Benefit from Family Counseling?

Does your family love and support one another unconditionally? Do you have fun together? Do you find talking with your spouse and children is easy and effective?

If you had to really pause and think about your answers to these questions, there’s a chance your family may not be as cohesive as you once thought or hoped. And that’s okay, not every family acts like something out of a 1950s television sitcom. Most have their own fair share of problems.

If you’ve never considered working with a therapist before, here are some benefits of family therapy:

Improved Communication

There aren’t many families out there that have flawless communication skills. It’s actually far more common for family members to feel that they can’t open up to one another. This of course leads to a disconnect between spouses or parents and children.

A family therapist can facilitate effective and respectful communication between your family members.

You’ll Understand Your Kids Better

Do you find yourself going slightly insane in an attempt to understand why your one child lies so much? Are you scratching your head as to why your other child is constantly hitting your first child?

We all think because our kids are made from our DNA that we’ll have some magical insights into why they do what they do. Nope. The truth is, most parents are in a constant state of stupefaction over their child’s behavior.

Family therapy will help your child feel safe enough to express their thoughts and feelings, giving you many A-ha moments.

Help Your Kids with Self-Esteem Issues

Healthy self-esteem is the foundation for a successful life. But unfortunately, many kids grow up feeling less than confident or good about themselves. A child with self-esteem issues may be the product of a parent with self-esteem issues.

The great news is, a family therapist can help both children and their parents build up their self-esteem to become happier individuals and, a happier family.

Help You Deal with Grief

Whether it’s a divorce or the loss of a loved one, most families are ill-equipped to handle loss, especially sudden loss. A family therapist can guide each one of your family members through the stages of grief so they can heal.

If you’re interested in exploring treatment options, please get I touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

 

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Communication Tips for Couples in Recovery

If you have found yourself in a troubled relationship, there is a very good chance you grew up with parents who argued and fought often. Your household was most likely filled with the sounds of angry voices, raised in an attempt to be heard or to simply drown out the other person.

This means you had no role models for how to treat your partner or what effective communication looks or sounds like. And so, you find yourself flailing, hoping things will get better with your partner but not really knowing what you can do.

The key to a healthy relationship, hands down, is good and respectful communication. If you are currently working toward mending your relationship, here are some communication tips that will help the two of you grow closer:

Give Each Other Your FULL Attention

We live in the age of technology, which means most of us has our head buried in our phone or tablet just about 24/7. This hinders good communication.

When you are speaking with one another, make sure to give your full attention to what the other person is saying. Turn the TV off, put the phone down, and make eye contact.

Take Responsibility

There are those relationships that suffer because one person has been unfaithful. But oftentimes, a broken relationship is the result of two broken people. Take responsibility for your part in the trouble. Admit to your mistakes and commit to trying harder.

Don’t Interrupt

It’s not easy to hear someone say negative things about your behavior but resist the urge to cut off your partner when they are saying something you don’t like or agree with.

Don’t Raise Your Voice

Yelling and shouting is not a form of effective communication. Do your best to refrain from raising your voice at all. It may sound too simplistic, but it really does help to stop and take a slow, deep breath when you feel your anger rising.

Listen

When your partner is talking, you should be hearing every word they say, not thinking about how you are going to respond. Many people are bad listeners. Listening is a skill you will have to develop over time, but why not start now?

If you follow these communication tips you’ll have a much better chance of reconnecting with your partner and making things work. And if you’d like to find a therapist that can guide you in your recovery, please reach out to me. I would be happy to talk with you about how I may be able to help.

 

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How Sex Therapy Can Lead to More Intimacy

A relationship requires different things to thrive. Good communication is necessary, as is mutual respect and compromise. But one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship is a sense of intimacy between each other. While intimacy can be fostered through communication, there is really no better avenue to it than a loving sexual relationship.

Often, when people are having trouble in the bedroom, their sense of intimacy takes a significant hit. That’s why it is recommended that couples seek the guidance of a sex therapist.

What is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is a form of talk therapy that can help couples address any issues they may be having in their sex life. The goal of sex therapy is to assist individuals to move past any physical, emotional, or psychological challenges they may be facing to enjoy healthy and satisfying sex life.

Symptoms of Sexual Dysfunction

Sexual dysfunction is more common than you might realize. In fact, 43% of women and 31% of men have reported experiencing some form of a sexual issue during their life.

Some of the most common symptoms of sexual dysfunction are:

  • Erectile dysfunction
  • Low or no libido
  • Premature ejaculation
  • No interest in sex
  • Low self-esteem
  • Lack of response to sexual stimulus
  • An inability to reach orgasm
  • Distressing sexual thoughts
  • Unwanted sexual fetishes

Sex therapy can help individuals address and change their behavior, leading to increased sexual satisfaction.

How Does Sex Therapy Work?

The term sex therapy conjures up all sorts of scenarios in a person’s mind! But the reality is, this therapy is like other forms of talk therapy where you share your experiences, feelings, and concerns.

In a safe and nonjudgmental setting, a couple can openly discuss any sexual issues with their therapist, who then offers coping strategies to help improve communication and sexual responses.

A qualified sex therapist is not there to take anyone’s side or show the couple how to have sex. He or she is there to facilitate understanding, development, and ultimate healing so that intimacy can be reestablished between the couple. If your therapist suspects your sexual issues stem from a physical condition, they will refer you to a medical doctor.

Sex Therapy Benefits

Sex therapy can help establish intimacy because it:

  • Strengthens communication. Your therapist is there to help you and your partner have uncomfortable conversations.
  • Helps you heal. It is quite common for one or both people in the relationship to have sexual pain or trauma from their past.
  • Cope with performance anxiety. Many men suffer from performance anxiety while many women are unable to let go and reach orgasm.
  • Navigate infidelity. Recovering from infidelity can be incredibly challenging.

Finding a Sex Therapist

Typically, a certified sex therapist is a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist, clinical social worker, or marriage and family therapist. They are specialists who go through rigorous training in human sexuality to become accredited as a sex therapist.

To find one in your area, you may search the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT).

If you are in the area and would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me so we can discuss how I may help you.

 

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3496 Buskirk Ave Suite 103
Pleasant Hill, CA 94523

50 Sand Creek Suite 320
Brentwood, California 94513

(925) 325-4239
fey@feytherapy.com